First Bunny Journal

Yay! My first bunny blog. Well, since this is a first, I might as well tell you a bit about myself. I am a 15-year-old girl that lives in the Los Angeles area. I have many friends, but it is hard to find anyone quite like me. Most of the time I am hyper and crazed although I have my moments of profound thought. I am into yoga, Christianity, writing/journalism (I am the news editor of the Verdugo Hills High School newspaper), singing, environmentalism, and last but not least, (a very recently discovered interest for me)photography. I suppose if you are reading this, you would want more of an extensive description. I am the type of girl that strives to be beautiful on the inside and outside. My life is governed by the principles of Christianity (yeah, yeah, you can call me a Jesus freak), and I find myself constantly dealing with the fact that my empathy has caused me to be a bit more compassionate than most. I don't write in here because I have nothing else to do (in fact it is quite the contrary), but because I think I need a bit of help discovering myself, and what would be better help than to look in from outside of the box. If I document my thoughts, actions, and feelings, it is as if I have a bird-eye view on my soul. Today I am going to Mexico w/ my church to visit an orphanage and stay for 2 nights. Three teen girls and one teen boy (as well as the adults) are coming too, and I expect it to be lots of fun. Last night I was so hyper that I made (like) 72 muffins. What a laugh. My family is calling me a tweeker. But that's common for living in Tujunga anyway. Like the loser I just dumped. I'm not even going to explain. You'd think that an obsessively clean and morally conscious person wouldn't have gotten with a jerk like that, but hey, you live, you learn. It's not like I'm one of those socially-starved stereotypical peer-pressured naive teen girls anyway(Whew, that was a long one, LOL). I just decided to drop my formerly biased feminist views for 2 weeks for a stereotypical jerk-off (p.s. I don't want to cuss online, it is a bad habit anyway even when you're not online and very distasteful). It's so weird. I'm this chick that you wouldn't even expect to communicate in ways like this. When people first look at me they'd expect me to be more of a singer or something rather than an intellectual perfectionist. I don't like to brag or be snotty; people like that have their heads so far up their own arse that they don't realize the existence of intelligent life on Earth. By the way, my sense of humor can leave certain people a bit taken-aback sometimes, but hey, whatever "floats your boat", right? I'm a very straightforward person. I try not to be a b**ch, but I guess it just comes across that way sometimes, so I'm sorry. In fact, I am constantly trying to preserve my intense compassion for others so I won't lose it and hate mankind like every other intellectual person I know. Key words: "Dare to be different". Like that Switchfoot song, "Dare you to move".
Well now that I've blabbed a whole little (seemingly conceited and biased) soliloquy about myself, I shall tell you about my family. I have two sisters and one brother, and I am the eldest. My mom and I have a Gilmore Girls type relationship, although sometimes I feel like I'm talking to the immature teen sister I never had (sorry, mom, you know I luv ya). My other teen sister is about a year-and-a-half younger than me and going into 9th grade (yay, high school here we come). She may not admit it, but she's my baby. My little brother is 10 and just graduated from the 5th grade. Him and I get along so remarkably well that my mom says we're her favorite two kids to bring somewhere. My littlest sister, Nina, is 7, and can be so annoying yet cute that she leaves my head spping in circle of confusin. Same for my bro sometimes, but he shuts up sooner. He just gave me a stuffed chicken beanie baby (he knows I love chickens and bunnies). I love my family a whole lot. My dad is like a separate branch. Him annd my ma are divorced and with enough screaming at them throughout my short life I have finally gotten them to deal with one another in a civil manner. My dad is ver smart, even though he got us from really rich to really poor. His name is Dr. Michael Natividad. There is an online article about him and his partner (the mastermind) cheated the govt. out of a total of 1.2 million dollars in one year. My father was a messed-up man, but now he is a very humble and godly man. I guess crap had to happen for him to change from a s**t-sloth into a beautiful butterfly.
In my lifetime I have had to deal with a lot. I have lived with people not even related to me and I used to lock my bedroom door every night for fear of being raped by them. I have lived in a thrid-world country for two years, and in the ghetto for a few years also. The first half of my life was nothing but riches. But with a lot of money comes a lot of secrets and deception. I had to hit rock-bottom to become humble. Just a few months ago, I was an alcoholic pothead that would run away from home more times than I can count on my fingers and try to commit suicide. I used to be on anti-depressants because I couldn't handle giving up pot. The main feature my friends would recogize me by was by multi-colored crazy hair. Through all this stupid crap, the ones that really loved me stuck by me and recognized the smart and beautiful person I was underneath it all. Sometimes my father still blames himself for not being there for one-third of my life, but I still love him a lot. Now, I have fully recoved and I do not under any circumstances touch drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol. I have found God, who should have been my drug of choice instead of these things all along. I am so blessed to still have hair after how many times I bleached and dyed it. I went from being a pothead on the road to nowhere to the news editor with honors classes who prides herself on touching people's lives in a positive way. I guess I had to change from the s**t-sloth to the beautiful butterfly too. But hey, I'm being very frank in telling you all of these things. I have a good head on my shoulders and want to live for Christ.