I've been really busy with extracurricular stuff lately, like a genetically-superior information-processing machine that must maintain good grades at all costs. But right now, I'm just really chill and relaxed (chillaxed). Haven't felt this good in a while. Who knew that listening to "You don't have to call" could be so fulfilling? In fact, more fulfilling than I've had for a while. Just broke up again, and homecoming elections are tomorrow. Let's hope I win. But I'll be ok if I don't, because Brian says I'm still this cool person no matter what. I wonder what it will take for me to believe it. LOL. I always have a fresh (and sometimes new) perspective to give to people. That is something good. The other day I went to Chinatown alone on the bus in search of not only my missing friend Paloma (whom I have not seen for months), but in search of my self. So, amidst the breakdancing teenagers and the men in Mexican costumes dancing to Mariachi, I let go and finally wrote Paloma a letter. Of course, she'll never receive it, but it made me feel a lot better. Weird guys have been randomly bugging me lately whenever I dress cute, and it enfuriates me because I want people to really like me for who I am, not just like me when I'm more sexually appealing. Real friends are hard to find in high school. I've definitely changed a whole lot in the past few months. I can actually cry now, and really feel things. It's scary, but GREAT! I've just so hungry for recognition. I need someone to point the way, and I believe that someone is God. Life is beautiful, and I may have my moments of complaint. However, I know that I should always remember that some things (the things that are most important) never change. That is what makes life beautiful. Just as I said in one of my poems: Like a bee, I sting you involuntarily; Like a butterfly, I console you.